Meet Allison Carver, Certified Life, Mastery, and Sensuality Coach.
Allison has 15 years of coaching experience where she focuses on educating women of all ages about their personal sexuality. She operates from a mindset that says, “It's not about age it's about where you are on your self-discovery journey.”
Married for 23 years to her best friend and beloved - Allison assumed that the sex life they enjoyed was “good enough.” A number of years ago, she took a deep dive into her own physiology and sexuality, as well as her limiting beliefs, micro traumas, and stories. In that process, she discovered all that still held her back from receiving pleasure fully and made realizations that can only be described as mind blowing. Allison found her life completely transformed and extends the same to others through private coaching, workshops, and a custom online course.
Allison acknowledges the many explanations for why we have been kept in the dark about our bodies and then challenges the status quo. She is passionate about lighting the path for others with her stories and experience. She delivers much needed support to her clients who value her compassionate and non-judgmental guidance. We invite you to get to know Allison Carver (aka Allison Joy) with us!
You call yourself a “feminine embodiment coach”. Do tell us more!
Everything I do I use myself as my own client by deep diving into my sexuality and sensuality in order to find out what really works and makes a difference in life. This allows me to provide a product to women that I personally know works! I want women to embody their inner goddess and unlike the majority of coaches, I practice what I preach!
What made you pivot from fitness and nutrition to a sexual wellness advocate?
As I worked for years as a strength coach, I began to see the empowerment that newly found physical ability brought women. That transitioned me to becoming a women’s life coach for many years, and through that, I regularly saw the one piece of the puzzle that made the biggest difference in the lives of my clients was in discovering their sensuality. This discovery opened doors of confidence and happiness that were not found earlier on in standard life coaching.
One of the things that struck me about your coaching is that initially you focus on body positivity? Can you elaborate and give us an example of how this helps women?
The number one issue with women in intimacy and connection with their partner is that their concern with body image creates incredibly difficult blocks to overcome. This means a lack of confidence, desire, and true release. Women who are not comfortable in their skin and sensuality have an extremely difficult time achieving orgasm and finding the true pleasure their body holds for them, and their relationships!
What does sexual pleasure mean to you? How is sexual wellness “health care”?
Sexual pleasure is allowing myself to fully express myself in ANY way that feels good without hang ups, shame, guilt, or embarrassment in what I find to be pleasurable. This leads me to fully love myself and translates to not only happiness in the bedroom, but in my day to day life.
Since the body keeps score, any negative traumas we store, those manifest into health issues. In this case, pretty much ALL women have some type of trauma or other blocks associated with sex and sensuality that translates into mental and physical health issues. On top of that, sex has been shown to improve hormone levels, brain function, relieve stress, and decrease depression, to name a few other health benefits. The current stats are staggeringly high in regard to how many women are taking medication to help them with anxiety or depression, which are a couple things that can be improved through a healthy sex life and sexual acceptance.
Why do you think sexual wellness is “a thing” now vs even 5 years ago?
It has only been in the last decade in which women and their sexuality has been studied more intensely since people have discovered the positive benefits it has in life! Now it is a matter of coaches like myself being able to get the word out and spread the positive benefits of sex and to dispel the negative preconceptions and taboos associated with sex.
How can sex and pleasure help in all areas of a woman’s life?
Women have the gift of creating sexual life force energy, which is a creative flow of energy. This means the same energy derived from sex and positive acceptance of sexuality is used to not only create life, but success in life, relationships, businesses, etc.
How can you transform your sex life with a partner when you’ve been in a rut or you’ve been in a routine of making pleasure about them?
This is when sex turns into a chore. You first have to claim your OWN pleasure. This means figuring out what turns you on, what feels good, and even what your sexual organs look like, so you can accept their beauty and the treasures they bring to your life. Then once you are comfortable with these facets, you can then start the communication process with your partner to bring them in the fold. Men want us to be in pleasure, so this shouldn’t be a hard conversation to have. Once they are understanding, they begin to see that YOUR pleasure increases THEIR pleasure and you do not have to feel like sex is a chore or that you are guilty for not finding personal pleasure in the process.
Because we’re an intimate care company, we have to ask… Do you use lube? What haven’t you “loved” about the lubes/lubricants you’ve tried?
I hate conventional commercial lubricants. They tend to be heavily derived from chemicals, aren’t the best for your body, and don’t taste good in the least bit. I normally use natural lubricants like coconut oil, or even olive oil, but since finding your lubricants I have been very happy with them as one of my go-to products for sex or masturbation.
How do you take care of your vulva health and/or do you have recommendations to your clients? Any words of vulva health wisdom?
Of course cleanliness is key. Whether you shave everything or not, being clean is key to long term health of your vulva. Not introducing chemicals or other questionable products into your vaginal canal or exterior vulva, and using natural products is extremely important! The vulva is a self cleaning machine, so internally it can take care of itself and with some help, it will provide many years of pleasure! Lastly, I believe regular sex and masturbation is extremely healthy for your vulva and your associated sexual organs as it keeps them flushed with blood, massaged and manipulated, and allows the tissue to live and act as it was intended!
You have a new webinar/workshop that you’re launching, please spill the tea!!!?
As of right now, there are a few different ways in which to work with me. I have a “Partner Communication” master class, which focuses on improving interpersonal communication between partners insofar as overcoming the regularly seen communication breakdowns through an understanding of how both sexes communicate.
I also have a self-paced 8-week’ish “Liberated” course, which focuses on full sexual acceptance and development to achieve those states of high energy and bliss we deserve as women in our lives. This course is all encompassing over a large variety of topics and areas of focus.
I also conduct private 1-1 coaching when able for women who want or need more direct interaction and accountability to attain their goals.
For the future, I am working on small group workshops for women, as well as for couples with the aid of my husband. Those should be happening in 2023 while we work out all of the logistics. The longterm vision is to venture into week-long retreats in Kauai and/or Costa Rica, as well as a regular podcast series discussing sex, sexuality, and relationships!