This one goes out to every lady who’s ever felt hesitant (or even a little intimidated) about exploring the vibrating, gyrating world of sex toys. We know that some archaic stigmas about sex toys still persist today and that the shame they cause can rain on your sex toy parade. That’s why we’re contributing to the conversation around sex toy positivity and accessibility. Join us as we demystify some of the more common assumptions about sex toys and debunk a few old stigmas.
What’s There To Be Ashamed Of?
In short, nothing at all! Pleasure shouldn’t be a source of shame, so using sex toys to enhance your sex life is nothing to be embarrassed about. Self-pleasure is a form of personal empowerment and autonomy, and sex toys allow you to develop a deeper understanding of your own body and sexual preferences.
That type of empowerment can be intimidating to some people or their partners, which could be part of the reason why sex toys sometimes get a bad rap. But we say that any sexual relationship worth keeping will always prioritize your pleasure and should never stifle you in your journey of sexual exploration. Whether you’re playing it solo or with a partner, sex toys open up a whole new door of possibilities in the bedroom.
Debunking Common Myths About Sex Toys
Myth 1: Sex Toys Are for Singles Only
This myth is a party pooper if we’ve ever heard one. Sex toys are a fantastic way to spice things up in the bedroom with a partner. Just about any partnered play scenario can be enhanced with the right sex toy. From vibrators to internal massagers, sex toys are a great option for partnered sex.
Plus, talking about sex toys with your sexual partner is a great opportunity to deepen the conversation about preferences and pleasure. Since communication is at the root of mind-blowing sex, starting a conversation with your partner about why you like certain toys and how you want to use them could lead to a better, more pleasurable sexual relationship.
Myth 2: Using Sex Toys Means Your Partner Isn’t Enough
If you have a partner who feels intimidated or apprehensive about using sex toys, we encourage you to start an open dialogue with them to get to the root of that insecurity. Sometimes, people can feel like they’re not enough when their partner introduces sex toys.
If your partner feels this way, remind them that the sex toy is just a toy and isn’t a replacement for them. A toy cannot kiss, stroke, and hold a partner. So it’s important for your partner to know that their ability to satisfy in the bedroom isn’t diminished by the introduction of sex toys. Instead, encourage them to think of sex toys as tools in the toolbox of pleasure.
Myth 3: Sex Toys Will Desensitize You
The good news is that your vibrating BFF will not cause long-term desensitization. While you may experience a temporary numbness right after a solo session, this feeling typically goes away after a few minutes as your body returns to a baseline of sensitivity.
If you’re using a particularly powerful vibrator, this numbness may last a little longer. But don’t worry. If this happens to you after using high-powered vibrations, try switching to another sensation or masturbation method until your body returns to its usual level of sensitivity. As always, pay attention to your body and consult with your doctor if you feel persisting or unusual numbness.
Speaking of sensation, the right lube can take solo or partnered play to a whole new level. Lady Suite’s Intimate Serum with Tremella Mushroom Extract has an ultra-silky, water-based formula for more comfortable and pleasurable sex.
Myth 4: Using Sex Toys Means Your Sex Life Is Boring
This myth is so wrong, it’s confusing. How in the world is using sex toys boring? We know that this stigma stems from the misconception that sex toy-free intimacy should provide all the pleasure one could want and that using sex toys means you’re having sub-par sex. But this just isn’t the case.
Great sex is great sex, regardless of whether or not you use sex toys. Just as you can’t blame sex toys for a boring sex life, you can’t expect them to resurrect boring intimacy either. Ultimately, it’s all about how you use sex toys to enhance your pleasure.
Myth 5: Sex Toys Are Shameful
We know that society would have you believe that using sex toys is something to be ashamed of. It’s hard to shake the lingering feeling of embarrassment you get when buying a toy in person or when pressing “add to cart” online. But this stigma is completely untrue. There’s nothing inherently wrong or shameful about sex toys or those who choose to use them.
Unapologetic pleasure is a concept that the world is still adapting to, and sex toys are an important part of that narrative. Since sex toys literally put the power of self-pleasure in the palm of your hand, it’s no surprise that some people are still apprehensive about them. But we’re here to assure you that your pleasure is never something to be embarrassed about. In fact, we encourage you to be part of the conversation about normalizing sex and pleasure at every turn.
Myth 6: Sex Toys Are Confusing
We understand that the huge variety of sex toy options out there can feel overwhelming. This can make it especially difficult for first-time sex toy users to start exploring with confidence. The good news is that there are tons of approachable, easy-to-use toys for new sex toy users.
If you have a vulva, try starting off with a basic vibrator. These toys usually serve the singular function of vibrating and are fairly easy to use. While some are longer, others (often called “bullet vibrators”) are smaller and more compact. If vibrators aren’t your thing, static dildos could be a great option to try. These are typically penis-shaped and made of silicone or glass. Both of these sex toy types are widely available and offer a great intro to the world of self-pleasure helpers.
Myth 7: Sex Toys Are Only for Women
Regardless of your genitals or gender expression, there’s a sex toy out there for you. While toys like dildos and vibrators are great for vaginas and clitorises, they can also be used on many different parts of the body. For example, using a vibrator on the head of a penis can take pleasure to new heights during masturbation or partnered sex. If you like anal play, some dildos can also be used for anal or prostate stimulation. Plus, toys such as vibrating masturbators or fleshlights can make solo play even more pleasurable.
All in all, sex toys are an incredible tool for enhancing pleasure and spicing up your sex life. With such a wide array of toys to choose from, just about anyone is sure to find their new favorite pleasure assistant. Whether you’re a first-time toy user or a veteran who wants to dive deeper into your sex toy exploration, we wish you all the best on your sex toy journey.
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This article was written by Giselle Hernandez. She is a freelance sexual health and wellness copywriter with six years of experience writing blogs, website content, social media captions, digital ads, product descriptions, and collateral materials for clients. Check out her website to learn more about her work.