If you’re on the other end of this screen like “How the hell is it already Valentine’s Day?”, we’re over here like, “SAME.”
Some of you might also be thinking “I am flying solo as hell and here for it.” Some of us over here are also like, “SAME.”
Believe it, babes. It’s freaking Valentine’s Day and yes, you’re absolutely right, it was just Thanksgiving, New Year's, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Pancha Ganapati, Yalda (Google them) - it was literally just everything. So this annual day of love-celebration is upon us this week and with that day comes a lot of things whether we’re on our own feeling real Lizzo about things, partnered up, or anything in between. Some of those things are worth perpetuating (absolutely nothing wrong with flowers and chocolate) and some could do with a reimagining (the pressure to get it right). Regardless of your exact situation, for many of you, some form of pleasure is probably on the table and is in the very least on the brain. Are you prepared for it?
You might not think that you need to “prep” for pleasure, but much like you might already be accustomed to doing through LadySuite, let’s zoom out. And no matter what your V-day lovin’ scenario is, let’s start with Self while we talk about some ways to prepare yourself for pleasure potential, on this or any damn day.
Take some alone time - To feel pleasure, we have to know what pleasure is to us. And in order to know that, you’d have to generally have a sense of what feels good to you and what doesn’t. Even if you already have a reservation with your significant other of three years and new lube to go with it, take some solo time. That can mean taking a walk, a nap, meditation, a dance party, whatever. Be with your own mind, body, spirit, nervous system, etc. Knowing yourself better and nurturing yourself is good for every relationship you have. And for the love of love, get some rest. Real, real deal rest.
Get wet - lolz hydrate, people. Hydrate. The fact that water is good for you should be obvious. Everything about being more hydrated stands to increase your wellbeing, including your receptivity to pleasure. We know that our bodies lubricate in response to being stimulated and this response is only supported by being more hydrated. And drinking lots of water improves how our bodily fluids smell and taste 😉. Hydration also increases how supple and responsive your muscle tissue is (cough - pelvic floor - cough) and increases flexibility and improves recovery. In short - drink up, good lookin’.
Make a bangin’ playlist - See what we did there? It doesn’t matter if you’ll be alone, coupled, thrupled, Gal-entined, making a purposefully curated list of music that gets you going (whatever going means to you) can’t not make you feel good. All the better if you’re alone! Solo sessions deserve as much care, intention, and excitement as partnered play. Here are a couple of personal faves - playlist one & playlist two.
Do something special - Caring about February 14th separate from any other can get a bad rap, but what if there’s nothing wrong with inviting celebration into our lives? With romance and delicious sensory things? It isn’t so criminal, guys. Whatever your status is, do something special and define special on your terms. Go somewhere you really love for lunch. Get them a beautiful card and write something true inside. Let it be sweet. Let it feel good. It is and it does and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Let that sh*t go - V Day often comes with a lot of expectations, projections, and fantasies. Some of those might be more helpful or supportive than others, which is why this holiday gets a lot of flack. But in its truest form, Valentine's Day is simply a celebration of love. So what ideas, beliefs, expectations, etc, might you normally take into this day that you can let go of this time? How good the sex is, who you spend it with, what it means about you, a dollar amount tied to how much you spend on someone, what you look like - whatever your stories about this day are, can ya let ‘em go? The less you expect it to look a certain way or be a certain thing, the more potential is held for pleasure in all of its forms.